Humour......
Reuters News Service, September 3, 1998
Bremen-
"In retrospect, I admit it was unwise to try to gain access to my house
via the cat flap," Gunther Burpus admitted to reporters in Bremen, Germany.
"I suppose that the reason they're called cat flaps, rather than human
flaps, is because they're too small for people, and perhaps I should have
realized that."
Burpus, a forty-one year old gardener from Bremen, was relating how he
had become trapped in his own front door for two days, after losing his
house keys. "I got my head and shoulders through the flap, but became trapped
fast around the waist. At first, it all seemed rather amusing. I sang songs
and told myself jokes. But then I wanted to go to the lavatory. I began
shouting for help, but my head was in the hallway so my screams were muffled.
" After a few hours, a group of students approached me but, instead of
helping, they removed my trousers and pants, painted my buttocks bright
blue, and stuck a daffodil between my cheeks. Then they placed a sign
next to me which said 'Germany resurgent, an essay in street art. Please
give generously' and left me there.
"People were passing by and, when I asked for help, they just said
'very good! Very clever!' and threw coins into my trousers. No one tried to
free me. In fact, I only got free after two days because a dog started
licking my private parts and an old woman complained to the police. They came and
cut me out, but arrested me as soon as I was freed. Luckily they've now dropped
the charges, and I collected over DM3,000 in my underpants, so the time
wasn't entirely wasted."
If you want to add any friends to this mail list please email...
mike@tiwibeach.com