This poor man must be really

pissed-off but we all go through similar feelings sometimes! 

AUSTRALIAN LETTER OF  THE YEAR

This is an actual letter sent to the then DFAT

 (Department of Foreign Affairs and Trade) Minster, The Hon

Alexander Downer and the then Immigration,

The Hon Minister Amanda Vanstone.

The Government tried in desperation to censure the author,

but got nowhere because every legal person

who read it nearly wet themselves laughing..!

Please excuse the language

contained within, but I suspect the  author

was somewhat upset? I'll let you  decide!

 

Dear Mr. Minister,

 

I'm in the process of renewing my passport, and still cannot believe this.

 

How is it that K-Mart has my address and telephone

number, and knows that

I bought a Television Set and Golf Clubs from

them back in 1997, and yet, the  Federal

Government is still asking me where I was  born and on what date.

 

For Christ  sakes, do you guys do this by hand?

 

My birth date you have in my Medicare information, and it is on all the income tax forms I've filed for the past 40 years.  It is on  my

driver's  licence, on the last eight  passports I've ever had, on all those stupid  customs declaration forms

I've had to fill out  before being allowed off the planes over the  last 30 years, and all those insufferable

census forms that I've filled out every 5 years since1966.
 

Also..would somebody  please take note, once and for all, that  my mother's name is Audrey,

my Father's name is Jack, and I'd be absolutely fucking astounded, if that ever

changed between now and when I drop dead!!!...

 

SHIT!

I apologize, Mr. Minister. 

But I'm really pissed off this  morning.

Between you an' me, I've had enough  of all this bullshit!

You send the application to my house, then you ask me for my fucking address!!

What the hell is going on with your mob?  Have you got a gang  of mindless

Neanderthal arseholes workin'  there!

 

And another thing, look at my damn picture..

Do I look like Bin Laden?

I can't even grow a beard for God's sakes.  I just

want to go to New Zealand and see my new  granddaughter. (Yes, my son interbred with  a

Kiwi girl).  And would someone please

tell me, why would you give a shit whether I

plan on visiting a farm in the next 15  days?  If I ever got the urge to do  something weird to a sheep

or a horse, believe  you

me, I'd sure as hell not want to tell  anyone!

 

Well, I have to go now, 'cause I

have to go to the other end of the city, and

get another fucking copy of my birth  certificate, and to

part with another $80 for  the privilege of accessing

MY  OWN INFORMATION!

 

Would it be so  complicated to have all the

services in the same spot, to assist in the issuance of a new passport on the same day??

Nooooo.. that'd be  too fucking easy and makes far too much  sense.  You

would much prefer to have us running all over the place like chickens with  our fucking heads cut off,

and then having to  find some high society wanker to confirm that  it's really me in the goddamn photo!

You know the photo..the one where we're not allowed to  smile?! ...

You fucking morons

Signed -

An Irate Australian

Citizen.

P.S

Remember  what I said above about the picture,

and getting someone in high-society to confirm that it's  me? Well, my family has been in this country

since before 1850!  In1856, one of my forefathers took up arms with Peter Lalor.

(You do remember the Eureka Stockade!!)

I have also served in both  the CMF and regular Army something over 30 years

(I went to Vietnam in 1967), and  still have high security clearances.  I'm also a personal

friend of the president of  the RSL..

and Lt General Peter Cosgrove sends me a Christmas card each year.

 

However, your rules require that I have to get someone

'important' to verify who I am; You know..

someone like my doctor; WHO WAS BORN  AND RAISED IN  FUCKING   PAKISTAN!!!. ......

a country where they either assassinate or hang  their ex-Prime Ministers, and are suspended  from

the Commonwealth for not having the  'right sort of government.'

 

You are all  Fucking idiots